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Terminal illness: Supporting a terminally ill loved one

How do you help a loved one who's in denial about his or her impending death?

Denial is a coping mechanism. Your loved one might be in denial because reality is too frightening, too overwhelming, or too much of a threat to their sense of control. The person might be afraid of pain or losing control of their bodily functions or mind. They might also fear failing family or becoming a burden.

Denial can allow a person to let reality in bit by bit and continue living while contemplating death. As long as denial isn't causing significant harm — such as by causing the person to seek out painful treatments of no therapeutic value — then it isn't necessarily bad.

To provide emotional and spiritual support, invite your loved one to talk about their fears. Sometimes, however, it's easier for a dying person to share fears with a spiritual counselor.